Behaviour: what does it tell us?

What would you say if I suggested that behaviour is a child’s way of communicating to us what they are feeling, thinking and believing. That there is no such thing as naughty behaviour in a toddler only behaviour that is communicating something to us and that it is more important to focus on this message than the behaviour itself. If we can support our children to understand what they are feeling, thinking and believing and teach them about self regulation and how to manage their emotions then their behaviour will look after itself. Unfortunately most parenting approaches come from the other angle and focus on how to get children to comply with ‘our’ expectations and to train children accordingly. It does not support our children to develop their own values and beliefs (under our guidance) and do something because it is the right thing to do rather than behave out of a sense of compulsion. It is a shift in focus that we need to make for our children.